Sunday, April 27, 2008

Babies seized by Robert Mugabe's forces as Zimbabwe hounds voters

(http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/world/africa/article3822569.ece)

Scores of children and babies have been locked up in filthy prison cells in Harare as Robert Mugabe, Zimbabwe’s president, sinks to new depths in his campaign to force the opposition into exile before an expected run-off in presidential elections.

Twenty-four babies and 40 children under the age of six were among the 250 people rounded up in a raid on Friday, according to Nelson Chamisa, spokesman for the opposition Movement for Democratic Change (MDC). Yesterday they were crammed into cells in Southerton police station in central Harare.

“This is ruthlessness of the worst kind. How can you incarcerate children whose mothers have fled their homes hoping to give their children refuge?” asked an emotional Chamisa yesterday. “In Mugabe’s Zimbabwe even children are not spared the terror that befalls their parents.”

The families were rounded up from MDC headquarters, where they had sought refuge from violence in the countryside.

Thought to be directed by top military officers, Operation Where Did You Put Your Cross? has prompted thousands to flee. They are trying to escape the so-called war veterans, who are attacking people and burning down hundreds of houses for voting “incorrectly” in last month’s elections.

“What we’re seeing is an undeclared civil war,” said Chamisa. “It’s genocide. This situation is out of control, it’s now beyond the capacity of the MDC alone. It requires the region, the continent, the international community to act.”

Four weeks after the elections, official results have still not been released for presidential polls widely thought to have been won by Morgan Tsvangirai, the MDC leader.

Simultaneous parliamentary elections saw the ruling Zanu-PF party lose its 28-year-long majority. The election commission is engaged in the recount of 23 constituencies after regime claims that they had been rigged by the opposition. None of the results has been overturned in the 14 so far announced. Even if the remaining nine were to go to Zanu-PF it still would not have won a majority.

While some Zimbabweans see a glimmer of hope in this, Mugabe has remained defiant in the face of international condemnation. Most expect the regime to announce that no candidate won a majority in the presidential election and to order a run-off next month which Mugabe will ensure that he wins.

“The only game in town is a run-off,” said George Sibotshiwe, Tsvangirai’s spokesman. “The recount was just to buy them time to smash people’s heads in, so when they go for a run-off nobody will even be thinking of voting.”

The regime’s strategy is to ensure that by the time of the run-off, Mugabe would have a clean sweep in rural areas, where 70% of Zimbabweans live. A police officer admitted yesterday that he had been instructed not to interfere with war veterans as they carry out their campaign of terror.

At the same time the opposition leadership has been driven into hiding or abroad. Tsvangirai fled Zimbabwe two weeks ago after he was charged with treason for “conspiring with the British to oust Mugabe”.

“I am unable to return home for fear of my life,” he wrote in The Washington Post last week.

On the ground the party’s network of district officials is being decimated. Tichanzii Gandanga, the MDC election agent for Harare province, can barely walk after he was beaten and left for dead.

Four men arrived at his offices in central Harare at about 6pm on Wednesday. “They told me I knew my crimes and so I had to confess,” said Gandanga. “They blindfolded me, bundled me into a truck, then drove for a long distance, beating me on the head, on the back, everywhere. They played loud music so that no one could hear my cries. I don’t know how I survived.”

As he was being beaten, Gandanga was questioned about the whereabouts of Tsvangirai. Eventually he was dumped in the bush. He managed to crawl to a main road where he was picked up and taken to the head of a nearby village.

For two days Gandanga was nursed by villagers. Eventually he got word to his relatives who moved him to a private hospital.

Ten people have been killed so far, according to the MDC, including a five-year-old boy who was burnt to death in a hut. The first victim on April 12 was Tapiwa Mubwanda, 54, the organising secretary for the MDC for Hurungwe East.

According to his widow they were on their way back to their village when they saw a group of Zanu-PF youth militia. While she fled into the bush with their children, her husband and his elder brother were beaten with rocks. “They said, ‘You voted for the MDC, now we want to do this in order to teach you to vote. You wasted your vote by voting for Tsvangirai. He will never be the president of Zimbabwe. Robert Mugabe will remain, so we want to teach you to vote’.”

When she crept out of hiding her husband was dead.

Another MDC activist, Manyika Kashiri, 55, of Chigumbu village in Uzumba, had his foot smashed by an axe when militias stormed into his shack at midnight on Tuesday. Kashiri woke after a bang at his door and rocks smashing against his windows. When he emerged, he was hit with a log by one of the militias and another tried to chop off his right foot with an axe in front of his grandchildren, one of whom was just four.

“We’re seeing a major increase in government-sponsored violence,” said Georgette Gagnon, Africa director at Human Rights Watch.

“The ruling party has been sending its allies after people it thinks voted for the opposition. Now anyone seen as opposing Mugabe is in danger.”

One activist, a 25-year-old fitter in hiding in Bulawayo, told The Sunday Times how he and two colleagues had been picked up by intelligence officers and forced to eat a poster of Tsvangirai. “You like him so much, now eat him,” they told him.

“Every day that passes, hope is seeping away,” said an aid worker in Zimbabwe. “This could very easily end up being yet another stolen election.”

Zimbabwe’s churches said yesterday that they had opened up their premises to victims of the violence.

Church leaders worldwide have declared today to be a day of prayer for Zimbabwe. “The current climate of political intimidation, violence, vote-rigging and delay has left the presidential election process without credibility,” read a statement from two senior Anglican archbishops, Rowan Williams and John Sentamu. “Now the people of Zimbabwe are left even more vulnerable to conflict heaped upon poverty and the threat of national disintegration.”

International pressure has continued. The top US envoy for Africa, Jendayi Frazer, assistant secretary of state, has declared Tsvangirai the clear winner of the presidential vote.

Tsvangirai has spent the past two weeks travelling round Africa trying to drum up support to pressure Mugabe to step down. After the weak response from Thabo Mbeki, the South African president, focus has shifted to the African Union (AU). Its chairman Jikaya Kikwete, president of Tanzania, has privately said that he would be willing to consider convening a summit on Zimbabwe.

Britain is hoping to get the United Nations involved and has managed to put Zimbabwe on the agenda of the UN security council this week. Proposals include an arms embargo and sending a UN envoy to Harare “with a tough message”.

At the Zimbabwe International Trade Fair in Bulawayo on Friday, Mugabe was defiant. “When the West, led by the British, shamelessly continue to denounce our country, what is our crime?” he asked. “We are simply defending our hard-won national sovereignty.”

Friday, April 25, 2008

Paradoxes... Part One.

Don't know what a paradox is?

Click here.


Here are a couple of paradoxes to think about. The paradoxes are obtained from:
  • Falletta: The Paradoxicon
  • Sainsbury: Paradoxes, 2nd Edition
  • Smullyan: What Is The Name of This Book?
  • Morris: The Ivan Morris Puzzle Book

I know, it's weird to put sources first, but I'm too damned lazy to type them out afterwards.

God is not all-powerful as he cannot build a wall he cannot jump .

A Paradoxical notice:
Please ignore this notice.

Ham Sandwich > Eternal Happiness.
Which is better, eternal happiness or a ham sandwich? It would appear that eternal happiness is better, but this is really not so! After all, nothing is better than eternal happiness, and a ham sandwich is certainly better than nothing. Therefore a ham sandwich is better than eternal happiness.

The Simplest Liar Paradox:
This Sentence is False.
Is that sentence true or false? If it is false then it is true, and if it is true then it is false...

Tortoise > Achilles
Zeno's second paradox of motion, of Achilles and the tortoise, is probably the best known of his four paradoxes of motion. In this problem, the fleet Greek warrior runs a race against a slow-moving tortoise. Assume Achilles runs at ten times the speed of the tortoise (1 meter per second to 0.1 meter per second). The tortoise is given a 100-meter handicap in a race that is 1,000 meters. By the time Achilles reaches the tortoise's starting point T0, the tortoise will have moved on to point T1. Soon, Achilles will reach point T1, but by then the tortoise would have moved on to T2, and so on, ad infinitum. Every time Achilles reaches a point where the tortoise has just been, the tortoise has moved on a bit. Although the distances between the two runners will diminish rapidly, Achilles can never catch up with the tortoise, or so it would seem.

Sorites Paradox of the Heap:
Suppose you have a heap of sand. If you take away one grain of sand, what remains is still a heap: removing a single grain cannot turn a heap into something that is not a heap. If two collections of grains of sand differ in number by just one grain, then both or neither are heaps. This apparently obvious and uncontroversial supposition appears to lead to the paradoxical conclusion that all collections of grains of sand, even one-membered collections, are heaps.

Proving that 2 = 1

Here is the version offered by Augustus De Morgan: Let x = 1. Then x² = x. So x² - 1 = x -1. Dividing both sides by x -1, we conclude that x + 1 = 1; that is, since x = 1, 2 = 1.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Do you think monkeys speak French?

It is generally inadvisable to slip on a banana peel strategically positioned next to an upright katana.

Even if you are not a video game character.

C'est la vie.

Choices, Choices, Choices!

To clear things up, I am going to explain what a ‘posting window’ is. From the start, we’ve decided that each individual author take turns posting, with a days gap. Being a goody-goody I followed it.

Somehow the rule didn’t stick and there’s a flood of post ever since, which is good.

BUT I’m missing turns!

To amends things, I am barging in right now, regardless of what’s the date…

---

We face many in our lives, from the truly trivial to down right life-threatening.

An iPod or a Sony? No wait. That’s not a choice. The iPod gets it, regardless of what model, hands down.

Scorpions or Eagles? Urm… a bit difficult, but can I have both?

Frappuchino or Mocha Latte? See. Even a simple trip down to the local Starbucks can be a difficult thing, especially when you go during lunch breaks and you’re holding up the queue because you can’t make a decision.

And hand phones. Problem arises when we have an unlimited amount of budget, and when we have a limited amount of budget. Either way we will have a problem choosing a new phone.

No too mention the scholarship and university placement offers either. They fly out from every corner and sometimes you regret applying for so much.

Only that we wish a dice could be thrown or a coin be flipped to settle the debate.

But what if, one day, you receive a note, a random one. Straight to the point, without any riddles. Just simple and clear…

If you don’t take this note to the police and get them involved, I will kill a lovely blonde school teacher.

If you do take this note to the police, I will instead kill an elderly woman active in charity work.

You have six hours to decide.

The choice is yours…

Dean Koontz, Velocity


So, what's it then?

Sunday, April 20, 2008

Twack : Too damned good to be missed

I know we're not supposed to over-post or it'll just kill it but this is just too damned good. Or so I think. ;)

Never give out your password or credit card number in an instant message conversation.

“Idiot” says:
heya
“me” says:
hello : D

“Idiot” says:
watching pursuit of happyness
“Idiot” says:
the starting is damn sad
“me” says:
lol eh i read abt that movie
“me” says:
isit abt a rebellious kid?
“me” says:
eh wait no
“me” says:
its abt a man and his kid right
“Idiot” says:
rebellious kid
“Idiot”:
lmao
“Idiot” says:
its yea the man and his kid
“Idiot” says:
damn nice show
“me” says:
lol oh den he lost his job or smth right?
“me” says:
read on cleo
“me” says:
hoho now i sound smarter den i actually am coz i read cleo
“me” says:
YAY
“me” says:
lol.
“me” says:
ur busyyyyyyy
“Idiot” says:
oh my gosh
“Idiot” says:
he lost one of his machine
“Idiot” says:
to save the car pay
“Idiot” says:
oh my gosh
“Idiot”) says:
oh wow
“Idiot” says:
this is damn sad
“me” says:
hahahahahaha
“me” says:
are u depressed?
“Idiot” says:
OH SHIT
“me” says:
damn ur funny

“Idiot” says:
HIS WIFE IS LEAVING HIM
“me” says:
oh ok oh shit?

“Idiot” says:
eh its not a funny show ok
“Idiot” says:
oh mannn
“Idiot” says:
damn sad
“Idiot” says:
damnnnn sadasdasdasdasdfasd
“Idiot” says:
fas
“Idiot” says:
dfgs
“Idiot” says:
dfg
“Idiot” says:
s
“Idiot” says:
ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHH
“Idiot” says:
GRARRRRRRRRRR
“Idiot” says:
GODZILLAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
“Idiot” says:
oh wow.
“Idiot” says:
he got the job offer!
“me” says:
YAY!

“Idiot” says:
when his family left!
“me” says:
HE GOT THE JOB OFFER!
“me” says:
oh
“me” says:
no yay?

“Idiot” says:
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooooooo
“Idiot” says:
sighhh
“Idiot” says:
oh my gosh
“Idiot” says:
so sad
“Idiot” says:
so sad
“Idiot” says:
wahhh
“Idiot” says:
wahhhhh
“me” says:
u are one weird handsome man lol.
“me” says:
boy
“me” says:
person
“me” says:
lolol

“Idiot” says:
damn sad
“Idiot” says:
...
“Idiot” says:
i feel like slapping u
“Idiot” says:
lol
“me” says:
ouch
“me” says:
: (
“me” says:
what happened to the "i feel like hugging you" phase
“me” says:
: (

“Idiot” says:
yalar ur spoiling my movie mood
“Idiot” says:
XD
“Idiot” says:
yalar hug
“me” says:
LOL
“me” says:
idiot

“Idiot” says:
hugz
“me” says:
can i copy paste this in the blog
“me” says:
lol i'll change ur display as idiot
“Idiot” says:
copy paste what?
“Idiot” says:
lmao
“Idiot” says:
change la change la
“Idiot” says:
then i
“Idiot” says:
will
“Idiot” says:
er
“Idiot” says:
i loseeee
“me” says:
hahaahahhaah
“me” says:
YAAAAY
“me” says:
lol i win woohooo

“Idiot” says:
yea
“Idiot” says:
lucky u
“me” says:
hahaah excuse me
“me” says:
takes more than luck darling
“me” says:
it's skill
“me” says:
HOHO

“Idiot” says:
rofl



Hah. who knew chatting could be so amusing. Or not?

TWACK : 5 Great Reasons.

You take the breath right out of me.
You left a hole where my heart should be.
You got to fight just to make it through,
'cause I will be the death of you.
- breath
--------------------------------------------------

Five good reasons why you need to play your part this 22nd April.


1. My sister & her family plus my niece stay in Australia.

No I don't want them to get skin cancer and you don't either. Coz I'll hate you. RAWR!

Australia exposed to more UVUltraviolet (UV) radiation levels in Australia are higher than in Europe, even during summer. Being located close to the ozone hole over the Antarctic means much higher, more severe levels of UV radiation get through to ground level.During summer, the earth's orbit brings Australia closer to the sun than Europe during its summer, resulting in an additional seven per cent solar UV intensity. This, coupled with our clearer atmospheric conditions, means Australians are exposed to up to 15 per cent more UV than Europeans.


2. Polar bears are too cute to die due to melting of icebergs.


Scientists are very worried because ice is melting in the Arctic and Antarctic.
Animals, including polar bears, are also at risk of extinction.

This is because in the last 40 years, the ice has got thinner by 40%.
And with less ice around, polar bears don't have enough hunting ground for the seals they like to eat.




3. There'll be too much junk.



Till there won't be place for more shopping malls! :(

Imagine a world without malls =O




This modern world functions as a throw-away society. The price for that is a growing problem of how to handle all the waste that is generated. Precious space for it is decreasing. The solution is not just reducing, reusing, recycling and composting, but also a complete re-education of how we live. Fossil fuels, non-renewable natural resources that originate in the earth's crust, are being extracted from the earth at breakneck speed simply for human consumption. The chronology ratio of mineral formation to mineral extraction is remarkably high.
There are two ways to manage municipal solid waste (MSW). The high-waste approach involves leaving it somewhere, burning it, or burying it. Landfills, the symbol of the high-waste approach, have the proven reputation of preventing MSW from degrading, not to mention attracting a lot of traffic, noise, and dust to the surrounding areas.





4. Trees will die, Plants will die, Flowers will die.


Now where'll you get your roses for me from?

P/s I love white roses TQ.

There are between 5 and 30 million species of flora and fauna. The bulk exist in the tropics -- ten one-hectare plots of Borneo rain forest (below) can contain as many species of trees as all of North America. But we are destroying habitat and the biodiversity it sustains at between 1,000 and 10,000 times the rate of extinction before human intervention.







5. Earth Is God's Creation For Us.




And we want it to not only be here for us, but for our kids too. So please do your part and take great care of God's greatest creation for both you and I.




Whether you're a Christian, a Buddhist, a Muslim or a freethinker like me, it doesn't differ much because the EARTH is God's creation for us mankind. Let it be Allah, or Jesus, or the idols you worship to, either way it was created just for us.




And if you love God as much as I do, please do what you're supposed to do. In fact do what you're supposed to do not only on Earth Day, but every single day of your entire life. :)







TQ & have a great day ahead!



-----------------------------------------------------------------



This is about me. Me. ME!!! Okay.



Just the other day I had buffet dinner with my childhood best friend & her family. & I fell. In the restaurant. Note, I was carrying a plate with keropok & I was wearing a denim skirt with my pair of highest heels.


Yes my skirt was short so it sorta adds to the embarrassment : (



Nooo I didn't ambil kesempatan to publish my picture here tsk tsk I was merely showing you my skirt! Grr. Wth.




And my heels were that high.



I wasn't sure how I fell but I was quite certain I ended on the floor like that :



And all the keropok fell onto the floor :(

Then the woman working there was staring at me like I was some freak.

What? Haven't you seen anyone falling in a buffet restaurant? Pfft


Cheers.

Friday, April 18, 2008

Twack : Last day with Hewlett Packard

good morning world ; )


Ah, beautiful day isn't it? Just wanted to let the world know I'll be blogging on the 22nd of April.

Special tribute to Earth Day.

Hah so much from me, the one who throws papers into the rubbish bin.

tata peeps.


-- A cheerful heart is good medicine.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Watch your mouth kid

I seriously wonder why am I here...
How did I ended up blogging for the sake of the readers and not my personal interest...

But whatever the reason could be...
I have to blog..
I was admonished for my lack of responsibility and therefore I'm here..
Because I'm stuck between the devil and the deep sea..
Haha.. One is self pride and another is him.. XD
Ok enough about me... We shall move on to

________________________________

"Watch your mouth kid...."


Do you notice that people from all education level
speak the word of profanity?
people apparently love to swear...
yes curse!!

one of the famous ones is________.

Fill in the blank... I'm sure everyone is very familiar with this ilk of word....

Teenagers especially love to sing the words of profanity...

How unlikely would it be for you to not listen to this phrase at least once a day
"What the ****"

Pretty unlikely unless you are half deaf or you are acting all goody goody infront of your parents...

And the reasons (masks for lies) for profanity are
  1. expression of anger... HAHAHAHA
  2. everyone is using.. It is a culture.... cough cough
  3. it is not that bad....
As the matter of fact...
IT IS BAD....

Can you image how painful it is to see this?
It may seem hilarious.. XD which in my opinion it is.. xD
But it is not good...
Because all of us are so used to this...
This ilk of profanity are no longer offensive!!

Imagine the anger in you when you are seriously angry showing this and the others just laugh it off thinking it is cute.. What the.....

Preserve it so it would be more meaningful.. XD
stop showing it off every once in a while...
Give the others a chance to prove it worth more than laughter
come on...
ops..
I mean.. stop this ignorance towards the this ill existence in humanity...
Proving us as nothing but a bunch of uncivilized and uneducated animals...
Stop this.. kill it


It is not like the dictionary is lacking of words for us to use right?
Come on, wake up and stop sitting on the dictionary of yours...
Be civilized.. And preserve foul words..
I mean.. Prevent foul words..
Watch your mouth kid...
Cause everyone is listening....

_____________________________
seriously... you may take the honor to kick me out of this now.. XD
I know I have brought disgrace to this Gaia...
kakakka
posted by
A girl filled with reasons for being lazy..

Hammarskjold Trophy Competition Speech

This address was delivered by Victor Ching at the closing stages in the final impromptu round of the state finals of the Hammarskjold Trophy Model United Nations Security Council Competition, held in the Inner Chambers of the Western Australia Parliament house. This was a last ditch effort after a day of negotiations to convince the People's Republic of China to exercise its veto power to block a resolution placing full sanctions on North Korea.

Honorable President of the United Nations Security Council,

We have congregated here today to discuss the fate of Democratic Peopls's Republic of Korea, and to discuss whether to place sanction on the country. With reference to the Republic of Slovakia's earlier addresses, we would like to stress than while it might seem to right thing to do, we are strongly against against such blatant disregard for the people of the Democratic People's Republic of Korea.

Who are the ones that suffer when embargoes and sanctions are placed on a country? The people. Who are the ones that have to cut back, from two meals a day, to one, when embargoes and sanctions are placed on the country? The people. Who are the dying ones in the street, desperate for one extra crumb of bread, desperate for one extra grain of rice? The people. We sit in luxury here deciding the fate of this nation, but we fail to recognize we are putting a death sentence on millions of North Koreans. Innocent people, who's only crime was to be on the wrong side of the earth. We particularly express our disappointment for the People's Republic of China's lack of commitment in stopping such an overly harsh resolution from passing through this chambers.

The Republic of Slovakia further expresses its alarm in the People's Republic of China's lack of commitment in blocking this resolution, seeing that if this resolution is passed, the United Nations will be authorized in invading this country. The Democratic People's Republic of Korea's sovereignity is about to be breached here, if this very resolution passes this chamber. Was is not the United Nation's sworn duty, as highlighted in the preamble of its charter, to safeguard the sovereignity of nations? To prevent the scourge of war? This action is an invasion of the sovereignity of this nation. We once again, express our utmost disappointment in the People's Republic of China's lack of commitment in trying to aid its ally.


Honorable President,

Who are we, a western dominated organization, to infringe upon the sovereignity of this country, this country with a proud history reaching back to more than a thousand years. Who are we, the outsiders, to execute the basic decisions for the country, and by that, taking the sole privileged of the country to decide upon where it wants its people to go, what it wants to do. Who are we, the Security Council, to decide why or what another state can't do. We say North Korea might causes a war. Well, the US has nuclear weapons and caused the Iraq war. Should it be taken away from them? We all take the assumption that what we decide is what is best for this society. By invading the sovereignty of this country, we are taking away its sovereign, its pride, its independent existence. Do we want another Iraq? I am sure most member of states voted against that war that the US indefinitely decided to ignore the UN and continued, even as the world opposed. This is why, I pledge to all members states, especially the People Republic of China, which the Republic of Slovakia wishes to extend its utmost alarm and disappointment, to vote against this resolution. Thank You.

PS: The resolution went through, with one opposing (Slovakia), one abstentions (People Republic of China), and thirteen approvals.

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Fruitcake.

This is the Gustave, reporting in.


College life is fast, hectic, and exciting.

Kind of like sex.

It may even be over before you know it.


And like sex, profound words of wisdom and acts that defy the laws of physics may even occur amidst the mind-blowing pressure and sweat.


MIND-blowing.


"Maybe some people have genetically straight pubic hair."
-Qirby, 1311, 09-04-2008.


Yes. She did say that.


No. We were in Asia Cafe enjoying roti telur bawang and puble tea.


Yes. That is spelt right...after Qirby found a "pubic" hair on the cover of her bubble tea.


No. It was not my hair. Pubic or otherwise.


And yes. Qirby made the quote of the week after I tried to convince her that pubic hair is curly.



Sarah: "You want to have Sex on The Beach?"

Gustave: "...Which beach?"

*Sarah bursts out laughing*

Gustave: "Oh right! It's a drink. Heh. Right?"




...Sometimes, during college (or sex), we reflect on the past, possibly even our high school life...



"My friend got suspended for a few weeks. I think he started a Mexican Wave in class."
-Victoria, 27-03-2008


...sometimes on the way to class in the morning we hear Chinese radio hosts trying to be the next Zen Tao Guru thing...


(translated from chinese)
"A kindergarten teacher shows her students a painting of a black dot on a sheet of white paper. She asks them what they see. They reply :'A black dot!' The teacher then says :'Class, that's the case in life. People will always focus on the bad parts of your character and miss all the good in you. It's time to look at the bigger picture of life.'"


...that actually seemed very profound and touching, taking into the account that I had about 5 hours of sleep and tend to be very groggy in the morning. But it makes perfect sense and fits as a metaphor just as an XL ribbed condom fits on 5-year-old's fist.


Ungh.


Yeah.


...what?



Fruitcake!


What if the kindergarten teacher showed them a picture of a WHITE dot on a sheet of BLACK paper?


I highly doubt that the answer would have been "A black mass engulfing a circular white spot."


A white flaggeracking spot.


That's what.



Speaking of Chinese wisdom...

"In waking a tiger, use a long stick."
-Mao Tse-Tung


Hmm.



That is definitely a war tactic.



Or practical advice for adrenaline-junkies.



Or a metaphor for sex.




Yeah. Probably a metaphor for sex.




...Aganrmas are wrods or prhaess mdae by minixg up the lterets of ohter wrods or pshraes...



The eyes
They see

Mother-in-law
Woman Hitler

Debit card
Bad credit

Astronomer
Moon starer

Desperation
A rope ends it

Election results
Lies - Let's recount



I'm sure we Malaysians can relate to the last one.



...and to cheerily top off this cherry ridden cherry fruitcake with big juicy banana...


Conversation.
VoicesRantOn.




Rock on.

Rock hard.

This is the Gustave, over and out.

Monday, April 14, 2008

20 Seconds Lapse - The Song.

Note: We'll be cutting people end of this week.

20 SECOND LAPSE

Severing mountains above us
Stuffed rolls of cloud all fall away.
Echoing in a garbled mash of thick reverb
Meaningless and feverish.

oh.
how you hypnotise
remastered to lose the flak
with a world of expectations on your back
swirling thoughts tickle your mind
searching without hope of finding
because you don't know what you're looking for.

Feverish words.
Tell-tale migraines bursts
Felicitations in a morgue,
Dancing to the sound of the gat
Did you count on that?

for all the days,
parched lips so hurt.
both cracked and blistered.
you look so hurt
reality as a blank abstract dream
You look so hurt.

Things Fall Apart.

Turning and turning in the widening gyre
The falcon cannot hear the falconer;
Things fall apart; the centre cannot hold;
Mere anarchy is loosed upon the world,
WB Yeats (The Second Coming, line 1-4) - Featured prominently in the book Things Fall Apart


“People go to Africa and confirm what they already have in their heads and so they fail to see what is there in front of them. This is what people have come to expect. It's not viewed as a serious continent. It's a place of strange, bizarre and illogical things, where people don't do what common sense demands.”

Chinua Achebe, author of Things Fall Apart


The blood-dimmed tide is loosed, and everywhere
The ceremony of innocence is drowned;
The best lack all conviction, while the worst
Are full of passionate intensity.
WB Yeats (The Second Coming, line 5-8)


...Mugabe's government has come up with a brilliant plan to deal with the situation:
The central bank’s latest response to these problems, announced this week, was to declare inflation illegal. From March 1 to June 30, anyone who raises prices or wages will be arrested and punished. Only a “firm social contract” to end corruption and restructure the economy will bring an end to the crisis, said the reserve bank governor, Gideon Gono
Daniel Drezner, author of "Things Fall Apart in Zimbabwe"


"South Africa has had to tread a very careful path around the minefield of being portrayed as a Western puppet by Mugabe"
Chris Maroleng, Zimbabwean analyst

Sunday, April 13, 2008

Twack : Really weird shiz.

Editor's Note: Bear with it.

why hello earthlings. ;)

So just yesterday I was in mid valley, yes that super duper huge mall with hell lotsa people and beautiful things. i.e:my very very beautiful halter ;D no don't close the window but read on because this isn't any personal emo emo blog entry unlike my usual entries on my previous blogs. tsk, not like you ACTUALLY know who I am anyway.


So yes, sister and I went to gardens instead where it's pretty empty throughout the entire day, every single day of the week. Oh boy this is soo draggy. So okay we were at borders and I was reading this book when all of a sudden this HOODED STRANGER (green jumper with hood on his head) who sorta looked like that :






walked up to me and asked me for the time. Btw I lost my watch in the office and I'm really sad although it didn't work properly so I just wore it 'coz it looked nice. loool.

Okay anyway I told him the time after looking at my mobile phone and he took out a tommy hilfiger perfume out of his bag. Really weird.




So he said, "Hi, we're having a launch here later, so have you heard of this brand?This is not direct sales you can ask your friends to come along"... yada yada yada goes on and on. See it wouldn't be HALF as freaky if he wasn't in that hood of his.

No I didn't get abducted 'coz my sister came to the rescue. Apparently he asked her really weird questions when she went to the audio books section like "Have you watched this movie?"




No that isn't HALF as freaky if he wasn't in that hood of his. BUT REALLY why would you be walking around with a hood on your head IN BORDERS, GARDENS??? And why would you be askiNG RANDON QUESTIONS TO RANDOM PEOPLE! Even weirder WHY ARE YOU TELLING ME THERE'S A LAUNCH FOR A TOMMY HILFIGER PERFUME when there isn't!




HOLY SHIT IS THIS FREAKY OR WHAT?





yes it's freaky. trust me I was shit scared.





I hope Wayne Paul Simon doesn't kick me out of 20secondslapse 'coz of this UBER boring blog post. No he wouldn't coz he's nice. tsk tsk, I'm such a suck up.




Okay so that was ONLY freaky event #1.



After walking in Gardens, sister and I went to Mid Valley to meet up with mom. Dropped into McD to get 2 cups of drinks. We were at the front of the line and suddenly this old woman came up to us speaking in canto asking us to buy her a cup of coffee. Don't remember if she touched us but she kept asking us to buy her coffee. So my sister just made that hand movement and said sorry. Hell I was scared of this old lady.








Not that she could carry us both into a super huge crane and chop us both into bricks to build a sewage but I WAS STILL AFRAID COZ IM A COWARD. But it's alright to be a coward 'coz I'm a girl and I'm Twack so everything I do is alright and everything I say is correct :)







Still the old lady wouldn't budge and asked for a buck instead. See what WAS really weird is that why would weird people be walking around McD & Borders but none of the staff shoo-ed them away! (not shoot, shoo-ed)








I mean THEY SHOULD coz i don't think I'll ever have the guts to go into Borders alone in my entire life coz I feel so violated now! : ( aww.







It's A THREAT TO THEIR CROWD AND CROWD BRINGS THEM BUSINESS SO HELLOOOO can't they at least ensure that there ARE NO WEIRDO FREAKOS who scare people out of their skin?




Man. This is long.




Conclusion : Gardens & Mid valley are scary places to shop in but they're still filled with beautiful things which I would buy once I'm filthy rich :) wheeeeee~




Things I pretend to know although I don't really know :


1. Think TNB Think Ten. (I'm Soo sorry I stole this)


2. What soap opera REALLY means.


3. What hudud is.


4. How to pronounce Caucasian.


5. How to put on make up.




Lmao. tata peeps.




p/s 22nd April's World Earth Day so do play your part in saving the world ;)





Wednesday, April 9, 2008

The Trilogy of Guitar Lessons.

When my 'linkinwayne' account was still active (read: unbanned) on Ultimate-Guitar, I posted three guitar lessons on the site, and I'll be posting the exact same lessons here. For free. Un-edited. Which makes me cringe a bit, since I wrote them a long time ago.


The First Ever Lesson (True Blues Soloing):

This guide offers a basic overview of the Blues scale, with ideas and concepts which should lead you to a much better understanding of this wonderful scale. Who knows, you might even fall in love with it.

The Blues Scale:

|-1------------4----------|

|-1------------4----------|

|-1--------3---4---------|

|-1--------3--------------|

|-1---2---3--------------|

|-1®---------4----------|

Basically you play it in this way:

|------------------------------------------------------------------1-------4-|

|-------------------------------------------------------1------4-------------|

|--------------------------------------1-----3-----4-------------------------|

|----------------------------1-----3-----------------------------------------|

|-----------1----2-----3-----------------------------------------------------|

|--1---4---------------------------------------------------------------------|

That’s how the blues scale works. The ® marks the root of the whole scale, so if you’re playing it on the fifth fret, it becomes an A Blues Scale. Simple as that. Try remembering this progression and play it with increasing speed. For variations, play it backwards (note: for some reason, playing scales backward is faster 90% of the time).

Once you’ve familiarized yourself with this scale, we can start with all the nitty gritty stuff. Here’s a progression to try out:

|------------------------------------------------------------------------------1----4|

|-------------------------------------------------------------------1-------1--------|

|--------------------------------------------------1-----3----4-------4-------------|

|--------------------------------1----3----1/3--------------------------------------|

|----------1-----1----2---3---------------------------------------------------------|

|--1---4-----4----------------------------------------------------------------------|

This progression is a straightforward manipulation of the blues scale. Basically, you just play following the scale with a few skips here and there to create effect. It’s a very basic progression, without any guitar tricks (except a single slide to add depth), so it shouldn’t be any problem to master.

Alternately, move the whole progression down to the fifth fret, which makes it slightly easier to play. Once you can scale through this progression easily enough, try editing it to add your own feel to it without actually changing the original progression. I’ve left plenty of places to insert hammer-ons, pull offs, slides, and bends. An interesting thing to try in this progression is a double slide on the third string. Slide from (1) to (3), quickly pick it and slide down to (4).

An important aspect of the Blues scale is texture and feel. That’s exactly what you have to insert into every Blues-based solos. Blues scales work especially well with tricks like bending and sliding. Pepper this throughout your solo, and insert licks to maximize the scale’s potential. A good trick is to use licks based on the minor pentatonic scale (the one which corresponds with the Blues scale). So if you’re playing your Blues scale on an A, use licks based on the A minor pentatonic scale.

Back to progressions. Here’s an intermediate level one to try out:

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|

|------------------------5h7p5/7/8--[9b]---8/7b----------------------|

|---5--------------5h7---------------------------------------------------|

|------7--6--5~----------------------------------------------------------|

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|

This is the first part. Very basic stuff, just work on the speed. You have to play this real fast, with expression and accent, to make it sound good. Note the [10b] which is a bend on the 10th fret. This is from the A minor pentatonic scale and not from the Blues scale itself. Mixing a minor scale into the Blues scale creates an extra expression. On to the second part, then.

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|

|----------------------------------------------585858--[10b]--85-----|

|--------------------------57~--7----5~--------------------------------|

|-------------------57---------------------------------------------------|

|---5h6--7--765--------------------------------------------------------|

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------|

There. Slightly more complex in certain parts. Start out with a regular speed, around 2 notes per second, then when you hit the ‘765’ on the 5th string, speed on at around 4-6 notes per second. Aim for a bluesy vibrating sound at the ~ areas. The group of ‘58’ at the second string has to be played very very quickly, and make sure you pick them out clearly. Once again, the [10b] is brought in from the pentatonic scale to add spice. Give it a nice quick bend and hit in the last two notes. The next part is all about speed.

|-----------------------00-----------00----------------------------------------|

|---------------------------------------------------------55--------------------|

|----5/7h8-57b--75---------------------57875~--5--77--57b--5(hold)---|

|-----------------------75~--5757~57~------------7-------------------------|

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

|--------------------------------------------------------------------------------|

And that’s the end of this progression. Observe how you have to come in flying with a slide, hammer and bend rapidly in succession. Then, spam the notes (make sure you play the empty string too) with expression wherever needed. For this section, double string playing is used towards the end. You can pluck both strings quickly if you want, but an easier way is to strum both very quickly, creating a single note sound. Put all the parts of the progression together, familiarize yourself with it, and soon enough you’ll be able to personalize it to your liking.

That’s about it for Part One of this lesson. Really short I know, but it’s enough for basics. Play around with the scale and come up with your own progressions. For next lessons, I’ll show you how to mix scales professionally into the Blues scale and offer some riffs and licks. Till next time.


Needless to say, I never got to part two. Now for the other two lessons, which thankfully have more substance.

The Second Ever Lesson (Know Your Notes):

I originally planned to release a book combining my Absolute Guitar Beginner’s Foundation lessons with three different guitar systems that greatly accelerate learning.

Then my band turned into a solo project and I end up typing this as a single free article. Note that this lesson covers a single system that shows a quick and efficient way to memorize notes.

I noticed early on in my guitar playing history that there was a certain pattern to some notes. To be honest, I could not find any coherent way to link them and put them down to coincidence. Then I started dabbling more into the intricacies of the guitar and realized music theory probably covered such a system. I tried studying music theory, failed miserably, and decided that it did not, in fact, cover such a system.

After a couple more months of playing, I decided to write down all the ‘patterns’ I could find. My Christian Praise and Worship book helped me on this one. There’s a guitar fingerboard chart at the back of the book, see.

So anyway, the first pattern I noticed was the diagonal ‘F-B’ pattern. I got this my looking diagonally from the 6th string. This meant I looked at 6th string 1st fret, 5th string 2nd fret, 4th string 3rd fret and so on. I got an ‘F-B-F-B-E-A#’ pattern for this. I got excited and checked it out on the other strings. It obviously did not fit. But I wasn’t disheartened. I cut down the number of notes in the pattern and got it down to the diagonal ‘F-B’ pattern. That seemed to work. And it did work for every single fret. Until I saw the 3rd string 10th fret was an ‘F’ note and the 2nd string 11th fret was an ‘A#’.

And so it went on. I spent a couple of hours everyday trying to discern a pattern. After a while, I decided to look directly downwards instead of diagonal. That seemed to work, but not every note fit. I got it down to a ‘D-G-C-F’ or something like that, working from the 6th string downwards. As soon as it hit the 2nd string, the ‘code’ stopped working. Very annoying, that. I looked directly at the open frets. From the 6th string downwards, that’s ‘E-A-D-G-B-E’. The ‘D and G’ fit into my initial pattern. Nothing else did.

I spent some time on the Internet and checked out most of the major music forums. And I realized I wasn’t the first one to realize there was such a system. A note-unifying system, if you like. One particular thread coded out a particular pattern of ‘A-D-G-C-F’ with the note of ‘repeat pattern with #, then B and E’. Ah ha.

Take a look again at the open frets of the six strings. It follows the pattern perfectly, up to the 2nd string. Let’s cut this tedious story short, shall we. Here’s a ‘natural order’. We’ll use the 6th string as a direct reference. The number refers to the fret number of the 6th string.

0 E

1 F

2 F#

3 G

4 G#

5 A

6 A#

7 B

8 C

9 C#

10 D

11 D#

Note that the 12th fret is an E note, and the order repeats from there.

After a bit of charting out the notes (thanks to the help of my band members), I made the same conclusion hundreds of other musicians before me have probably made. I found the secret order of the notes.

Okay, I didn’t actually find it. But I did put in a considerable amount of hard work to work out the patterns. Anyway,

Use the ‘secret code’ from the 6th string downwards. When you reach the 2nd string, use the note that will precede it in the natural order. If it sounds confusing, take a look at the secret code and back at the natural order. It’s easy enough but I’m not sure how to further simplify the explanation.

As to how to memorize this secret code, any mnemonics will do, really. A simple one is to remember this acrostic:

All Dogs Go Crazy for Baked Eels.

Some time after I ‘discovered’ the secret code, my friend sent me a link to the Fret 2 Fret website. I bought the program. It was definitely a great method to memorize the pattern. The best part was the tabs, though. All in all, I didn’t regret not finding out the program earlier. All that hard work only served to further imprint the secret code in my mind. For those reading my article and are STILL not clear about how it works, please do check out Fret 2 Fret. I can’t remember the name of the guy who made it but it’s pretty user-friendly. And it’s a program so all the diagrams and stuff are nicely arranged.

The secret code is:

A-D-G-C-F-A#-D#-G#-C#-F#-B-E



Now for the final lesson, a really good one, this. Not just for guitarists, either.

The Third Ever Lesson (Song Structure: Plotting a Masterpiece):

You’ve got a great concept. You have a truckload of inspiration. The melody is impeccable. You’re all geared up to write the mother of all songs.

What next?

At the base of every great song is an amazingly solid structure. Everything else is a sidenote. The one thing that must be crafted with exceptional care is the structure. This is true for basically every possible song, even if you decide to sing blather over random free verse chords. The song structure has to be planned out clearly and coherently, and this guide is aimed at helping you do just that.

To make visualization easier throughout this article, I shall liken a song to a story. Let’s take a look, then, at a couple of normal parts of a song:

Stanza, Refrain, Chorus, Bridge, Instrumental, Narration, Coda

The stanza is the meat of the story. It serves to further the story, offer descriptions and basically tell the tale. The number of verses used is entirely up to you. It is vital, however, to maintain the momentum of the story. It’s better to have two clever verses than five incoherent, sub-standard ones.

What is the difference between a Refrain and Chorus? Quite simply put, the Refrain tells what MIGHT happen. It predicts the story outcome and is unsolved. The Chorus, on the other hand, covers what has already happened. In a song featuring Refrains, the final Refrain is commonly replaced with a Chorus to ‘reveal’ the conclusion. In other cases, the songwriter might decide to reveal the conclusion after the last Refrain. This is, again, completely up to personal taste.

The Bridge is basically a part of the song played over a melody distinctly different from the other parts. It usually acts as a climax. In Wheatus’ ‘Teenage Dirtbag’, a ‘female’ voice is used for the Bridge to humorous effect. In this particular example, the Bridge also acts as climax and conclusion. An instrumental section is, of course, pretty much self-explanatory. A Narration is a section where you ‘talk melodically’. Hardly used nowadays, but there are some tweaked variations. Josh Woodward’s ‘Gallows Hill’ can be said to be a variation of the Narration technique. The Code is the ending section and usually refers to a fade-out ending.

With that out of the way, let’s take a look at musical devices and the key factors in plotting a song. Here are three formulae that are simple and important.

Pitch + Volume = Tone

Tone + Rhythm =Melody

Melody + Lyrics = Song

Now to figure out everything we need to know about each of these aspects.

Pitch refers to a note range and is commonly divided into sharp and flat (or high and low). Volume, also known as dynamics, is the variation of softness or loudness. Take a look at another simple set of formulae below:

SHARP + Soft = False-voice

+ Loud = Sharp

FLAT + Soft = Breathy

+ Loud = Deep

False-voice and sharp are classified as TREBLE. Breathy and deep are classified as BASS. Note that flat + very loud gives us something unofficially termed as ‘Power’.

These formulae show you how you can modify volume and pitch to achieve a certain tone. Plan beforehand what type of voice you wish to use. Refer to the melody to make sure everything you sing fits. A simple tip is to modulate your volume according to the sections. Sing a bit louder at the chorus than at the verses. When the drum kicks in, you should also generally sing a tad bit louder.

Now that you have a strong foundation, here’s an insanely short guide to vocal techniques. At its loosest meaning, vocal technique is the usage of vocal production for every vocal mechanism. This refers to the unifying register (head, middle and chest). Get yourself a good vocal teacher to guide you through posture, breathing, phonation and vocalization. In case you didn’t know, you should practice dropping only your lower jaw when opening your mouth when singing.

There are tons of great columns on writing melodies and good lyrics, so I doubt I’ll touch on them in my short tutorial. Check them out, decide what works for you, and keep practicing. Songwriting is an art form in itself and should be treated thus. I can, however, give you a couple of words of advice for writing strong lyrics.

Never force your lyrics. Be natural. Rhyming dictionaries can be used online and can come in handy sometimes. Familiarize yourself with them to enhance your skill. Always remember that, above all, the way the words sound over the melody is the most important part of the lyrics.

Broaden your mind. I’ve written songs about my emotions, my friends, degeneration of society, the end of the world, love and an anarchy movement, among others. Everyday life serves as the ultimate tool for your creative juices to flow. For example, an expired tomato in a supermarket sparked a song complaining about supermarkets. That turned into a song about closing times (can you catch the double meaning?). That in turn evolved into a song about nights. Which led to shadows, which led to the song ‘Umbrage of the Night’. See what I mean? Inspiration comes from everywhere.

I hope my short guide has given you the confidence to write stronger songs and build on song structure as never before. Always remember, the foundation is the most important part of the song. Happy writing.


Monday, April 7, 2008

Introduction | Why Blogs Fail

A bit harsh on the topic eh? Still it's on the later part of the post.

But for now...

Welcome all and for those who just arrived, we’ll have a round of flaming cocktails!

And for those who can’t indulge alcohols, here’s some freshly squeezed orange juice.

Cookies are in the jar. Or just on the table.

Everything’s on the house and enjoy your stay. In the meantime, pick up some worthy blogs to read (eg. this one) and don’t forget to share the cookies!

--

Kicking things off, here’s something that can be put to good use by the people here and the ones just passing by.

--

Basically everyone dreams of having a blog at the top of the search engine. But getting there in the first place without Googling your own blog name may be something a bit difficult to do with. That is why some people give up blogging altogether as they can’t find readers. Or it ends up as a dark and gloomy place to vent out back at your previous employer.

To achieve Internet success is rather, tedious or quite impossible, taking in regard the amount of people that too are trying to get what we want. So yes it is hard indeed.

That is why after reading through one and scattered thoroughly with my own opinions I have come up with this. Simple reasons why blogs fail and how to not fail them.

Link people (and comment too)
The essence of every blog is basically the readers. No matter how good or famous you are, without them your blog is just a sitting pile of virtual spam.

How to get readers in the first place? Advertise. Sell yourself. Work out the first move. Don’t expect people to randomly stumble upon your blog. Tell your friends. Put it up on your Facebook and whatnot. A signature in your emails.

Other than that you can cling onto more recognized blogs and sort of, spam or drop a comment with your link. And by comment I don’t mean things like:

“Hey, nice blog!”

“Cool. Love it!”

Or simply thick skinned with a one-liner:

“Link me!”

Those will not work no matter how cute they look. Give related comments towards the post. Something natural and doesn’t look like it came from a spam bot.

----

Don’t expect one-way traffic either. One someone drops a comment on your blog, comment back. Links are forged initially through mutual understanding. It is not going to magically attach together.

Most importantly when dropping a line try to refrain from initiating unwanted hostile relationships. You may not agree with his/her opinion but respect it. You can say it out in your comment, but know where to draw the line and stay within it.

Layouts/Presentation
Yes, they are important. Layouts may not have to be fanciful like those top notch artist. A minimalist approach would do. Try avoiding those fanciful glitters that will draw readers away from your writings and away from you blog. Colours and font sizes are essential as well.

I do not want to squint my eyes due to the small fonts or keep on rubbing them from the contrasting colours. And I am very sure the readers too.

Another important note is to try and set a good screen resolution and advise users upfront to set it to the recommended screen size.

----

Your posts will be the centre or the focus point of your blog. It is VERY important. Remember a few helpful hints:

  • Try not to post a wall of text. Divide your post into a few paragraphs so that readers can see a break between them. A wall of text is very daunting to go through, so expect the same thing when others see it.
  • Refrain from posting (excessively) with IM slangs and SMS lingoes.

[wut, l8tr, d, u, coz]

It may give the wrong impression noting that you may (but surely not) a little slow during English and spelling class.

Honestly, there’s a full QWERTY keyboard in front of you, not a number pad.

Grammar is not necessarily important as long readers can understand what you are trying to point out.

Content
An engaging content is what most readers look for. Controversial topics can be hot-cakes but avoid them if you are just going to make sweeping statements.

A foot long essay with 10 paragraphs about your pet rabbit that is surely not in the direct interest of your readers will not go down well. Try keeping your posts centred and focused. Random pointless ramblings may be fun, but if I were to read one from a total stranger, I couldn’t be bothered about it.

Applications
It may not give a direct impact but it can surely spruce things up a bit. Music players, chatboxes, photo slides etc. cuts the dullness from the blog. But importantly, try not to make it the main point of your blog if they are just for décor. Make it less intruding, especially music players. Not everyone may share the same music taste as you. Keep it in place where it can be easily seen and the Stop or Pause buttons within reach.
Reading a good post with disturbing background music is undoubtedly, a turn off.

There we have it. Some tips that I would have loved to share with the fellow readers. If you have anything that you would like to add on, just drop a comment ;)