Why did the chicken cross the road?

Plato:                For the greater good.
Karl Marx:            It was a historical inevitability.
Carl Jung:            The confluence of events in the cultural gestalt
                    necessitated that individual chickens cross roads at
                    this historical juncture, and therefore
                    synchronicitously brought such occurrences into being.
Ludwig Wittgenstein:  The possibility of "crossing" was encoded into the
                    objects "chicken" and "road", and circumstances came
                    into being which caused the actualization of this
                    potential occurrence.
Albert Einstein:      Whether the chicken crossed the road or the road crossed
                    the chicken depends upon your frame of reference.
Salvador Dali:        The Fish.
Darwin:               It was the logical next step after coming down from
                    the trees.
Epicurus:             For fun.
Ernest Hemingway:     To die. In the rain.
Werner Heisenberg:    We are not sure which side of the road the chicken
                    was on, but it was moving very fast.
Ronald Reagan:        I forget.
Kafka:                Hardly the most urgent enquiry to make of a low-grade
                    insurance clerk who woke up that morning as a hen.
Hamlet:               That is not the question.